


Better Next Time

by legendaryroar



Series: Sheith Angst Week 2018 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 13:16:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15819630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legendaryroar/pseuds/legendaryroar
Summary: His scars won’t fade. The memories refuse to. They’re etched into his skin. They go deep. Too deep to root out, and even Keith’s soft touch can’t dull the pain.





	Better Next Time

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sheith Angst Week Day 3 ~~Letting Go~~ / **Scars**.

Shiro’s hands shake, like they always do. It’s not from the warmth of Keith’s mouth on his neck. It’s not from the pleasant ache in his groin, or the feel of Keith’s hardened dick pressing against his hip. It’s not the nervousness of finally being together after they wasted so much time.

It’s Keith’s hands resting on his hips. Thumbs slipping under and brushing his skin. It’s knowing that once smooth expanse is broken by ugliness. By pain. It’s Keith’s hands not straying any further even though he must want to. They stay there, brushing the smallest patch of skin.

Shiro wishes, so much, that he could just reach down and take his shirt off and feel Keith everywhere. Wishes that he could just feel Keith’s touch and not think about what Keith is touching. Not think about how the ugliness of his past mars his skin. Not be thrown back into the arena from each touch. It shouldn’t be memories of the arena that take his breath away when Keith touches him.

Keith’s hands slip away, then come up to cradle his face. “Breathe,” he whispers, pressing his forehead to Shiro’s.

Shiro forces a few breaths, hating the way Keith is so good about this. Wishing he would just get angry sometimes like Shiro is angry with himself. The ache in his groin is gone. Keith is softening at his hip.

“It’s okay,” Keith is whispering, kissing his cheeks, his forehead, his lips. “It’s okay.”

Shiro wants to believe him. Wants to believe _in_ him and believe he will wait. But at the same time, he wishes Keith would give up. Go find someone else who isn’t so scarred. Someone able to give him the intimacy he craves.

“We can just sleep,” Keith says, shifting, tugging the blankets over them. “It’s okay.”

Sleep isn’t want Shiro wants. He wants Keith’s moans in his ears, he wants skin under his hands. He wants, he wants to at least give Keith the release he craves. But Keith softens every time Shiro does, he’s not interested if Shiro’s body isn’t, and it’s an endless game of disappointment for them both.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, his chest caving in from the feeling. It seems like they’ve been trying forever and failing forever.

Keith kisses him again, soft, slow, lingering. “It’s okay. This is enough for me. You are more than enough for me. I love you.”

As they settle in, like every other night, Shiro believes him less and less. It’s not enough for him, so how can it be for Keith? His scars won’t fade. The memories refuse to. They’re etched into his skin. They go deep. Too deep to root out, and even Keith’s soft touch can’t dull the pain.

Even Keith’s love can’t dull the pain.

Like every other night he closes his eyes tight, and imagines things will be better next time.

**Author's Note:**

> I wish I had more time to do longer pieces for this XD but short stuff is fun too =)
> 
> You can find me at [legendaryroar](http://legendaryroar.tumblr.com) on tumblr.


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